Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
