I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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