just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
