I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
