words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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