I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
