i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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