shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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