Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
