I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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