Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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