called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
my poor anus
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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