This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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