i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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