i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
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We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
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That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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