remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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