Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize