Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
