well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
