It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
