I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
