'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
