I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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