We won't sleep together?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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