Your tits are I can't wait for
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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