but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
