I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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