if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
