Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
