in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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