I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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