I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
