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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

  (1-940): View more from Texas

  you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese

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• (562): View more from California

  I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.

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• (661): View more from California

  Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  What am I doing with my life

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.

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• (212): View more from New York

  be right there i have to get my cape

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on

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