I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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