do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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