it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
