suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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