just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
