Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
