Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
