capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Quick, to the slutcave!
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
