we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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