Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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