so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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