Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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