I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
