I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
