He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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