I'm eating all of the evidence.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
