super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
