Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
