I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm gonna fight the coyote