I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
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