I can tuck mytits in my pants
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole