I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
