I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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