Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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