You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
