Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
