i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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