Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
