sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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