You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
