she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
