This girl is more easily done than said...
only you would photoshop your dick
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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