Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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