Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
