There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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