Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
